In recent years, there have been increasing reports in the media about sexual crimes: rape, assault, harassment, incest and more. It is difficult to say whether there has been an increase in the actual number of crimes or whether there has been an increase in the number of complaints compared to previous years.

From our point of view, we can only hope that the public debate on the issue will encourage victims of sexual assault to stand up for their basic rights and report and file a complaint with the police. Just like in the case of any other crime, in sexual assault often the victim has no control or ability to prevent the assault. However, unlike other crimes, sometimes after a sexual assault the victims are overwhelmed with guilt, strong self-criticism and shame and they refrain from reporting and complaining. They are silent. Let’s help them make their voices heard.

What exactly is sexual assault and/or assault?

This is how the UN defines sexual violence: “Any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, or any other action directed against another person’s sexuality and is committed by the use of force, by any person regardless of the nature of the relationship with the victim, in any environment (the perpetrator may be a stranger or a familiar person). This violence also includes rape, defined as forceful physical penetration or coercion into the vagina or anus with a penis, other part of the body or with an object.”

The Association of Centers for Assistance to Victims of Sexual Assault adds: “Sexual assault is an act of violence that is perpetrated against someone who is perceived as weaker. It is not an uncontrollable sexual urge, but a crime committed consciously, in order to control and humiliate the victim.”

The definitions clearly describe a huge human tragedy that can happen to any woman, man, boy or girl, regardless of religion, race and socio-economic status. This is a crisis after which life will not look the same, but after this crisis it is possible to get up and grow. In Israel there are quite a few organizations that provide help and support for free.

“Maybe I could have prevented it”?

The feeling of shame and guilt among victims of sexual assault is very common, however it is extremely unjustified. Victims of sexual assault are not guilty, their behavior was not the cause of the sexual assault. Sexual assault is entirely the fault of the perpetrator, and only he is to blame for it.

Each person reacts differently to an incident, some suffer from shock, confusion and fear. There are those who deny or suffer from extreme numbness. Those who have been sexually abused will need a lot of emotional support, so it is recommended to contact people who can support and not express criticism or judgment. Even if it has been a long time since the assault, it is still possible and recommended to get help, it is never too late. More important information can be found here.

If you know someone who has been sexually assaulted, you can help by listening and offering support. You can also accompany them to the assistance centers, the police station, the hospital, etc. Be sure to remind them that the assault is not their fault and that it is natural to feel anger and shame. 

Emergency hotlines for victims of sexual assault (Active 24 hours a day 7 days a week)

Women: 1202 | Men: 1203 | Arab Women: 04-6566813 | Religious Women: 02-6730002 | Religious Men: 02-5328000

How common is it in Israel?

Unfortunately, sexual assault is very common in Israeli society, according to data from the Association of Centers for Assistance to Victims of Sexual Assault:

One in three women is sexually assaulted during her lifetime.

• 1 in 7 women is raped
• 1 in 6 girls goes through incest
• 1 in 6 boys is sexually assaulted
• At young ages the percentage of male victims is similar to the percentage of female victims.
• In 95% of the reported cases the attacker is a man. In 85% of the reported cases, the victim is a girl or woman.
• Over 85% of all sexual assault cases are committed by a person known to the victim, Including family members, friends/acquaintances, teachers, therapists, colleagues, principals, etc.

How many are reported in the country?

Data from the Association of Centers for Assistance to Victims of Sexual Assault show that (general data for 2015):

In 2014, 40,000 inquiries reached the aid centers. Of these, 8,938 were new inquiries. This is an increase of 3.5% compared to the number of cases in the previous year. 13% of the cases that reached the aid centers were reported to the police.

By gender:

• 3% of the reports were about harm to women and girls
• 5% of the reports were about harm to men and boys

By age:

• 1% in adults
• 9% of referrals reported harm to minors (up to age 18)

By type of assault:

• The most common assault is rape and attempted rape – 34% of all reports
• 24% of the reports are about sexual assault by a close family member (incest)
• 13% of the reports are about an indecent act
• 12% of the reports are about sexual harassment at work
• 9% of the reports are about sexual harassment
• 5% of the reports are about group assault

Is it common in the world as well?

Data collected from over 80 countries around the world by the World Health Organization, WHO, indicate that 35% of women have suffered physical and/or sexual abuse from their partner or have suffered sexual abuse from a person who is not their partner.

Worldwide, almost a third (30%) of all women who have been in a relationship have experienced sexual and/or physical violence by their partner, in some parts of the world the percentages are even higher. In addition, 38% of all homicides of women in the world are committed by their spouses.

The chances that young people aged 12-17 may experience sexual assault are three times higher than the chances of adults (National Crime Victimization Survey, 2000).

Spouse sexual violence is most often perpetrated by men against women, but child sexual abuse affects both boys and girls. International studies indicate that 20% of women and 5-10% of men report being victims of sexual exploitation, as children. Violence among young people, Including violent dating, has also become a dimensional problem.

In 2000, the FBI announced that every five minutes a report of rape was received in the United States. A study by the US Department of Justice found that 1 in 6 women in the United States had experienced attempted rape or rape. At the time of the rape, 22% were under 12 years old. 54% of them were under the age of 18. 83% were under the age of 25. In the same study it was found that 1 in 33 men experienced sexual assault.

הפוסט Sexual Assault הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

The author of this text is Dr. Idan Milicher – a psychotherapist, sexual therapist, and couple therapist.

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is one of the most common problems in men’s sexual function, from which about 30% to 40% of men suffer. Premature ejaculation is characterized as a condition in which a man, regularly and repeatedly, reaches ejaculation with minimal stimulation before, during or immediately after penetration, a condition that often causes personal frustration and impairs interpersonal relationships.

The ejaculation is a complex process, and its ultimate goal is to transfer sperm from the male genitalia to that of the female. In this procedure, the sperm, which is located in the seminal vesicle, the Vas deferens and the posterior urethral valves, comes out of the urethra with intensity and is accompanied by a feeling of pleasure and satisfaction manifested in an orgasm. Any disorder in this procedure, such as premature ejaculation, ejaculation accompanied by pain or lack of ejaculation, can impair the quality of sexual function of the man and the couple.

The reasons for Premature Ejaculation can be:

Primary, that is, congenital (already from the first attempts at sexual intercourse).

Secondary (as a result of health changes such as diseases: diabetes, damage to the the spinal cord, chemotherapy treatments, etc., mental changes – stress and tension or a change in the relationship).

Or as a result of damage to the sensation of the head of the penis, which is the center of ejaculation process.

Treatment for premature ejaculation:

Over the years, premature ejaculation treatment has undergone many and extreme changes.

The classic treatments are individual psychotherapy or together with the partner; or behavioral therapy. For years these treatments were common, and in fact were the only treatments available, but they were disappointing, since three years after the end of the treatment more than 75% of the patients reported recurrence of the premature ejaculation. This finding taught that only psychological therapy is ineffective, and therefore new therapies were needed to be developed, while the psychological therapy remained periodic therapy for reinforcement of the initial treatment outcomes.

Once it became clear that one of the causes of ejaculation was hypersensitivity in the head of the penis, local or systematic development was initiated that would lower the sensitivity of the head of the penis, thus allowing prolonging duration of intercourse and postponing ejaculation. Over the years there have been partially successful attempts to treat premature ejaculation by sprays or various topical ointments. There are creams and sprays used for local anesthesia, which aim to reduce the sensation in the head of the penis and their effectiveness reaches 50%. However, in many cases these measures cause numbness in the head of the penis, a decrease in sexual satisfaction and even a weakening of the erection. In recent years, attempts have been made to treat premature ejaculation with many antidepressants and psychiatric medications, which aim to affect the ejaculation center in the brain. Treatments with some of the predicaments was partially successful, and others had a positive effect on ejaculation time, but at the same time the patients suffered from side effects that prevented them from continuing the treatment (such as Anafranil and Phenothiazine).

Additional patients took SSRIs, which inhibit serotonin reuptake in the brain. 75% -70% of patients treated with medicaments from this group reported a significant improvement in ejaculation, but these medicaments, which were originally intended to treat psychiatric problems, had significant side effects because of which patients and their partners preferred not to continue the proposed treatment. However, the relative success of the new treatments opened a new era of premature ejaculation research studies and methods.

A new study conducted at Tel Aviv Medical Center has shown that a combination of SSRIs with Viagra has significantly improved the duration of ejaculation. In addition, the Tel Aviv Medical Center operates a multidisciplinary service for the treatment of all aspects of ejaculation, especially in the area of premature ejaculation.

The new service is based on a multidisciplinary view, which examines all aspects of the problem: psychological, physiological, organic, environmental and within the couple. First, the patient answers a questionnaire about the history of the problem and special questionnaires are filled out, examining various aspects of ejaculation. In addition, a physical examination is performed.

If necessary, an additional test, pudendal nerve conduction (PNC), is performed, which may indicate the presence of increased or decreased sensitivity of the penis itself or the head of the penis. This method of treatment develops various skills for controlling the mechanisms of ejaculation, alongside topical treatment with ointments or sprays and pills, which inhibit the reuptake of serotonin into the brain.

הפוסט Premature Ejaculation הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

Sex addiction is a condition in which a person’s impulses, behaviors or sexual thoughts become compulsive, get out of control and impair his daily functioning. This does not refer to a strong sexual instinct but an actual disorder.

sexual addiction  can manifest in: incessant thoughts, need for frequent sex, increased masturbation, compulsive  porn viewing, incessant search for sexual partners, consumption of prostitution, visiting strip clubs and so on. About 80% of sex addicts are men.

Although the phenomenon has no diagnostic definition in psychiatry, there are a number of recurring characteristics of addiction in various studies on the subject:

• Compulsion: Inability to freely decide when to stop a particular sexual behavior. Attempts to stop a sexual behavior often fail again and again.
• The person continues the sexual behavior despite the heavy price he pays for this behavior (as with any addiction). In many cases harm is experienced in occupational, academic, family and social fields.
• Obsessive thoughts about sexual activity: Over time, obsessive thoughts tend to become more extreme and intense. 

Sex addiction, like other addictions, is a behavior that impairs the addict’s ability to function properly and develop healthy relationships. The addict loses touch with concepts of good or bad. they lose control. They have no more freedom or power of free choice.

Similar to substance abuse (alcohol / drugs), even when the addicted person is no longer able to consume the substance (e.g. alcohol), he is still unable to resist the intense need for it. And as with other addicts, so with sex addiction – any kind of sex (with him/her self or with partners other than his or her spouse) is destructive and addictive.

The way to becoming a sex addict is similar to the the way to any other addiction. Many people feel worthlessness during their lives, loneliness, fear and the feeling that they are not worthy. Their interiority does not correspond to what takes place outside.

As a coping mechanism – these people choose to disengage from family, friends and the environment. The escape is to the fantasy; To masturbation, to casual sex, to porn. Lust becomes the focus of attraction and the main occupation is in achieving it. This behavior is often accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness and pain. Shame and guilt are sometimes linked to cultural aspects (religious beliefs) of the addict or to conscientious aspects. The addict struggles, many times between his behavior and the values he would like to live by. This struggle further distances him from himself and the environment.

Why is it hard to stop this sexual behavior?

The condition can be likened to a small wound. We can treat the wound and disinfect it and on the other hand, we can scratch it and gain a momentary pleasure that seems to alleviate us. Actually, we only deepen the wound even more. A person who for years has been harmed by his environment so that their self-esteem has been harmed, or has developed a sense of failure – may in the attempt to deal with the vulnerability “choose to scratch the wound”, that is, in this case, escape into a hyper-sexual space to experience self-worth, power, or control. The person does “gain” momentary pleasure through hyper-sexual behavior (masturbation, viewing sexual content, having multiple sexual partners), but the vulnerability only deepens.

What can be done?

There are currently a number of organizations involved in assisting sex addicts. Most often these are rehab centers that deal with a variety of areas (such as alcohol, drugs, etc.). Many centers have expanded their activities into the field in question after it grew in recent years, both in terms of the number of addicts in the population and in terms of awareness to the subject, both of which have grown in the last decade because of the Internet.

Rehabilitation programs are very similar to the usual rehab programs for anonymous alcoholics. They started appearing in the 1970s in the United States, when people who suffered from uncontrollable sexual similar behavioral patterns were identified as alcohol addicts.

For help, you can contact SA (Sexhoholics Anonymous) for advice, there you can join one of the support groups. For more information on the israeli SA website, click here.

Various rehab centers offer treatment and diagnosis of sex addiction.

The Lewinsky Clinic also offers free sex therapy and counseling. For more information about the service and making appointments, click here.

הפוסט Sex addiction הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

What is oral sex?

Oral sex is the use of the mouth, lips and tongue to stimulate the genitals; The penis, vagina or anus of the partner.

We know it better as “blowjob”, “going down on someone” and more.

Important to know

Many sexually transmitted infections can be transmitted through oral sex. Using a condom, in oral sexual contact prevents the chance of contracting or transmitting sexually transmitted diseases.

How common is oral sex?

Oral sex is a common practice, in heterosexual couples as well as in same-sex couples. Over 85% of sexually active people between the ages of 18-44 report having oral sexual contact with a partner of the opposite sex. In another study conducted in 2015 by Dr. Efrat Habaron and Shlomit Habaron, it was found that 64% of boys and girls in Israel had oral sex before the age of 18.

Is it possible to get a STDs during oral sex?

In oral sex performed on a men: many STDs can be transmitted (chlamydia, gonorrhea, mycoplasma, syphilis, herpes and more). The bacteria located at the tip of the penis (urethral opening) pass  (with full insertion of the penis into the mouth) into the throat of the man or woman who performs the act. Meaning, pharyngeal infection. Similarly, to having a sore throat in which streptococcal bacteria settle in the throat.

If a man or a woman who suffer from a pharyngeal infection due to an STD performs oral sex on a man, the bacteria in the pharynx will pass to the man’s genitalia and he might suffer from a sexually transmitted disease in the genitals.

In oral sex performed on a woman: the situation is less dangerous. In oral sex given to a woman, there is a risk of infection for both parties with herpes and syphilis with a low risk.

In conclusion:

• You can be infected with a number of infections in the mouth or throat from performing oral sex on a partner with an infection in the genitals, anus or rectum, especially if the infected area is the pines.
• Some infections can also be contracted when you receive oral sex from a person who has an infectious disease in the mouth or throat.
• It is possible to be infected with an STD in more than one area time, for example in the throat and genitals.
• Sexually transmitted infections can be spread even when a person has no symptoms. That is, if you do not have symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection you may be a carrier of the infection, but you do not know it. The only way to know is to be tested.
• In order to detect STDs in the pharynx a dedicated pharyngeal swab must be performed. Such a swab can be performed at the Levinski Clinic in Tel Aviv and at some HMOs.

What sexually transmitted infections can be contracted by oral contact?

• Chlamydia
• Gonorrhea
• Syphilis
• Herpes
• Mycoplasma genitalium
• Trichomoniasis

What about HIV infection?

The chance of contracting HIV through oral sex is purely theoretical. The actual chance is nil, no case of HIV infection through oral sex is known and we regard this practice as non-contagious.

What is the treatment if you are infected?

The treatment is antibiotic treatment depending on the specific infection.

הפוסט Oral sex and STDs הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

Mycoplasma and Ureaplasma – What are they and how are they treated?

Mycoplasma is a name for a group of bacteria. There are 5 types of infectious types of mycoplasma – meaning they cause disease in the human body. Unlike other bacteria, what is common to mycoplasma strains is that they cannot always be treated with antibiotics. Each type of mycoplasma infection causes different effects. In this post we will discuss four types: Mycoplasma Genitalium (of the genitals), Mycoplasma Hominis, Ureaplasma Urealyticum, and Ureaplasma Parvum.

Mycoplasma Genitalium

Mycoplasma Genitalium can be contracted if you have sex with a person who carries the disease. Sometimes there are no symptoms of the disease at all.

Infected women may feel: pain during intercourse, vaginal bleeding after sex, discharge. 

Infected men may feel: Swelling of the urethra, burning sensation when urinating, discharge from the penis. The disease can become complicated without proper treatment.

The test performed to detect the bacteria is a urine test or taking a sample of the discharge from the cervix or penis.

The treatment in most cases is antibiotic. Since the bacteria is characterized by high drug resistance, follow-up should be continued with the doctor even after the drug is given, because the antibiotic does not always succeed in defeating the bacteria, and then the doctor will prescribe a different type of antibiotic. Because of the possible complications both spouses and other partners will always be treated.

A state of complete recovery will be determined only after another negative urine test after 6 weeks.

If you have been diagnosed with Mycoplasma Genitalium, it is recommended that your partner will also get checked. It is important to use a condom to not infect your partners and to not get infected.

Mycoplasma Hominis

This group of bacteria is regularly found in the urinary tract and uterus in 50% of women. Women who are in good health will not be disturbed by the presence of the bacteria, but women whose immune system is weak can suffer from this infection. This infection can be contracted during sexual intercourse, and the bacteria can pass from pregnant woman to fetus during childbirth.

In women this bacteria can also be linked to uterine inflammation (inflammation that can damage the fertility). Pregnant women may have complications such as ectopic pregnancy, preterm birth and miscarriage. In the newborn, the bacteria can create infection and fever.

To check if you have this infection, the doctor will ask you to do a urine test or take a sample of the vaginal fluid. If you have an infection, you will be treated with antibiotics.

How can you avoid this infection? Always use a condom, and limit  the amount of your sexual partners. The more partners you have, the higher the chance of contracting the infection.

Ureaplasma Urealyticum and Ureaplasma Parvum

In most healthy women, this group of bacteria can be found in the cervix and vagina, and their presence does not indicate a disease. Ureaplasma Urealyticum can be found in the urinary tract in some men. Ureaplasmic bacteria can be transmitted through unprotected sex. Usually these bacteria do not cause a disease.

In women: no symptoms for the disease. And there is no need for treatment even if there was a positive result. The bacterium does not need to be treated as it does not cause any symptoms.

In men: In the case of Ureaplasma Urealyticum may appear symptoms that interfere with normal conduct (discharge, urinary tract infection and pain).

To detect the bacteria the doctor can do a blood test, a smear test, a urine test, an amniocentesis test, a placental tissue test.

The treatment of bacteria in symptomatic men is with antibiotics.

הפוסט Mycoplasma and Ureaplasma הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

The author of the article is Dr. Idan Milicher, a psychotherapist, sex therapist and family therapist.

Delayed ejaculation is a phenomenon characterized by a man’s difficulty to ejaculate. 

Some men might consider this a fantasy, not to ejaculate quickly, but in reality, men who suffer from delayed ejaculation, experience suffering. It’s like driving an amazing car to nowhere and never anywhere… Literally, the trip turns from pleasure into a nightmare.

It is unpleasant to have sex, the erection stands and burns like a torch, until something in the back almost snaps, and still not being able to ejaculate. Of course, after a while of not being able to ejaculate, there is a decrease in erection and an increase in frustration.

In the not-too-distant past this phenomenon was considered rare, but over the years we have witnessed an increased number of men complaining that they have difficulty to ejaculate. Studies today indicate that 2%-7% suffer from some level of dysfunction.

So, what exactly is delayed ejaculation? The average ejaculation time is 2 to 5 minutes from the moment of penetration. Some men ejaculate very slowly or have difficulty ejaculating during sex with a partner. This condition is called delayed ejaculation.

As mentioned, the phenomenon ranges from difficulty ejaculating in during sex to difficulty ejaculating in general, even in masturbation alone (although difficulty ejaculating in masturbation alone is very rare). 

There are quite a few men who are ashamed of the situation and as a result “pack” it in all sorts of heroic stories like I am in control, I am thinking about your pleasure, everything is in my head, and… Yada, yada, yada… All kinds of excuses to hide the difficulty. 

The causes of delayed ejaculation are many and varied:

1. Diseases such as: diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and other diseases can impair the ejaculatory reflex. 
2. Use of medications, especially antidepressants from the SSRI family, can impair ejaculation. In women, the response to medication might cause delayed and even make them unable to reach an orgasm.
3. The use of antipsychotic drugs may also have an effect that will delay ejaculation, similar to antidepressants.
4. Alcohol use and/or massive and frequent drug use, especially heavy ones. (I will not be the one to determine which ones are heavier).

Psychological reasons:

1. Habits and patterns in the beginning of having sex. A man who practices masturbating in one way, for example friction against a mattress, will have difficulty ejaculating in another way. Alternatively, masturbating while touching the penis very strongly and massively will make it difficult to ejaculate with another “gentler” touch, such as oral sex and/or full sexual intercourse.
2. Fear, ambivalence and guilt over ejaculating during sex. These deep feelings, which are the result of our childhood and the conflicts that have been repressed into the subconscious and have not been resolved, may manifest in adulthood in an inability to ejaculate voluntarily.
3. Severe abandonment anxiety. A child who feared that his mother would abandon him if he did things that made him happy but did not please her. The woman, unconsciously, occupies the place of the mother. The man is afraid that she will abandon him and therefore does not allow himself to fully enjoy…
4. Difficulty “to let go” in life in general and during sex in particular. Anxiety related to performance can also be manifested in difficulty to ejaculate. 
5. The inability and conflict in expressing anger is manifested in holding back (literally).
6. Delayed ejaculation as an expression of ambivalence regarding the relationship.
7. Delayed ejaculation as an expression of the struggles for power and control within the relationship.
8. Delayed ejaculation as an expression of a painful event such as the discovery of infidelity.
9. In advanced age the ejaculatory reflex becomes slower.
10. Fear of pregnancy or unwillingness.
11. And of course, the reason is not always known.

The difficulty for the partner to function sexually and in regards to delayed ejaculation in particular, raises many questions for the partner. The partner may get into a whirlwind of self-questions regarding her femininity and sexuality. Many women may feel unattractive and as if they are not enough, and more than once I have come across women who have noted that while self-esteem decreases the weight goes up.

Treatment:

If there is no physical component that needs to be considered, the treatment of delayed ejaculation is conducted in two ways: 

1. Understanding the psychological component that causes ejaculation delay.
2. Exercises that gradually reveal the difficulty to ejaculate during sexual intercourse while performing satisfactorily. It is true that each case is deferent, but generally the man is taught to ejaculate alone, to masturbate in front of a partner, then he ejaculates with the partner and at the end of the process while having sex.

Having said that I will add that if there is difficulty in ejaculating several months into a sexual relationship, I would recommend seeking professional advice.

Dr. Idan Milicher

Head of the Inorganic Sexology Clinic for Men, Tel Aviv Medical Center

הפוסט Delayed Ejaculation הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

Phobia is defined as an irrational or obsessive fear or anxiety, usually about something specific. This condition can take over a person’s life, interfere with the normal course of relationships and lead to a significant decrease in the quality of life and physical and mental health.

AIDS phobia is defined as the fear of contracting HIV or the fear you have already contracted the virus.

The phobia is manifested even without any evidence that an infection has occurred or even in the case of conclusive evidence that no infection has occurred. The scientific facts are not enough to calm the phobia. It is irrational and no rational means can solve it. In some cases, when it is a fear of a specific infection, or a particular case, it can be solved relatively easily but in most cases when the phobia is provoked, it cannot be treated without targeted professional intervention.

Manifestations of AIDS phobia

The first, people who are convinced that they have been infected, despite going through tests showing that they have not been infected, despite explanations from doctors and professionals, and sometimes even without any incident that might pose a possibility of infection.

Second, the phobia appears as a constant fear of infection. People who believe in medical testing, however, feel that at any given moment they are prone to infection and cannot live their lives quietly due to thoughts of infection. Such thoughts get to the point where people fear that they have contracted HIV from a needle while testing for HIV. These people are in fact in a vicious circle that they cannot break.

Despite the fact that nothing soothes the concerns, people who suffer from the phobia may spend long hours on the Internet searching for evidence that their concerns and doubts are justified, often they find the answers on websites where the information is unfounded or out of date.

Some of those people who are defined as suffering from AIDS phobia are diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) which is expressed in recurring thoughts that circle around the ways in which HIV can be contracted. These thoughts may lead to significant behavioral changes in the attempt of avoiding potential exposure. They see the danger of infection everywhere and the thoughts gain a monopoly on consciousness.

Some people with AIDS phobia will do their best to avoid contracting HIV even if their behavior does not make sense. For example, they may think that any contact with another person endangers them, especially if they see a scratch or wound on themselves or the other person. They may also completely avoid sexual contact or use pseudo-medical remedies that may even endanger them.

The reason AIDS phobia develops

The reason why people develop various phobias is not entirely clear. Some mental health experts believe that the tendency to develop phobias has a genetic basis, while other experts believe that phobias develop as a result of adverse experiences and life events. For example, fear of water can result from getting to know a person who has drowned. In the same way, a person can develop AIDS phobia if he or she has an acquaintance who suffered from the disease or died from it.

Another common cause is a feeling of guilt after an act that the person perceives as improper. Usually it is a sexual encounter that the person regrets, such as infidelity, consumption of prostitution, homosexual intercourse and more. Because these circumstances not only expose the person to sexually transmitted diseases including HIV, but also put them at risk of explaining how they got infected, which increases the anxiety.

In the case of anxiety that stems from remorse, in the perception of people suffering from AIDS phobia, HIV is an inevitable result of their wrongdoing. They may feel that HIV is a kind of punishment for the “crime” they have committed and the guilt they are experiencing is logical and justified.

Often, a person’s cultural background plays an important role in AIDS phobia. Education, the immediate environment, religious influences and social experiences, all of these can increase the stigmatized perception of morality. Thus when a person perceives his actions as immoral he punishes himself.

Treatment of AIDS phobia

Those who suffer from phobia sometimes find it effective to sit down with a doctor and get a detailed explanation of how the disease can be contracted. They can go from doctor to doctor and hear the same information over and over again with the thought that it will calm them down. This information (which is sometimes also obtained from the internet) may give relief in some cases, however, it does not hold. Soon another question, another scenario will emerge, and the person will return to feeling anxieties and restlessness.

To treat phobias one has to get to the root of the problem. Most often, the phobia itself has nothing to do with HIV.

People suffering from AIDS phobia are often treated with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Consulting a skilled mental health professional can help diagnose and find a solution.

Treatment can include individual therapy, group therapy or family counseling. As well as, medication after diagnosis of anxiety.

If you or a close one suffer from AIDS phobia, you can seek advice from the Levinski Clinic, various HIV clinics and specialists who treat obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

הפוסט AIDS phobia הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

1. The birth control pill (the pill) was invented in the early 1960s by the American biochemist Dr. Gregory Pincus. Since the pill came into our lives it has completely changed the way humanity perceives sex.
2. The pill changed the lives of many women and became a topic of social, political, moral, religious and feminist debate. That is, the discussion about the pills does not only revolve around the issue of fertility and procreation but around female sexual freedom.
3. About 23% of women in Israel take birth control pills.
4. The pill usually consists of two hormones: estrogen and progesterone. These hormones are found in a woman’s body naturally and are related to the female reproductive system. When their amount in the body changes and increases they affect the ovulation process and thus prevent pregnancy.
5. The condom prevents pregnancy by creating a partition between the sperm and the egg, so there is no contact between the body fluids and therefore the condom protects against sexually transmitted diseases. Unlike a condom, the pill prevents ovulation itself and does not create any protection against sexually transmitted diseases – it only protects against pregnancy! Therefore, those who take the pill are also advised to use a condom, until the couple knows for sure that they cannot infect each other. For more information on the subject click here.
6. Today, you can find two categories of pills: the combined pill – pills that contain estrogen and progesterone (like Jasmine and Yaz). Mini pills – named so because they contain only progesterone (Cerazette for example) and is suitable for women who can not use contraceptives that contain estrogen, for example breastfeeding women (sometimes these pills are also called breastfeeding pills). Of course, each type has advantages and disadvantages and  you should consult a doctor before usе.
7. There are more than ten types of pills in Israel, which contain different hormonal doses. All of them can be purchased only with a doctor’s prescription.
8. The pills have an efficiency of 99.8% – however their success depends on taking them consistently and according to the doctor’s instructions. If taking the pills is inconsistent the effectiveness decreases significantly. Nowadays you can use many technological ways that will remind you to take the pill, but if you know you tend to be forgetful you should continue to protect yourself with a condom as well.
9. Taking the pill may have side effects such as: decreased libido, pain during penetration, vaginal dryness, sensitivity or a feeling of congestion in the breasts, a feeling of bloating, nausea, dizziness, headache. If the side effects are severe, you should see a doctor – you may need to change the type of pill to a pill with a different hormonal dose.
10. Each type of pill affects each woman differently. If your friend has suffered from side effects from a certain pill, it does not mean that you will suffer from them. In case of side effects, changing the type of pill usually solves the problem.
11. In most types of pills, if you started taking the pills on the first day of the menstrual bleeding you are protected from that day. If you start taking the pills at another stage of your menstrual cycle, the pill will only start protecting you after two weeks. In any case, follow the doctor’s and manufacturer’s instructions carefully.
12. If you forget a pill, and it has not been 12 hours since you took it, take it immediately, chances are you are protected but as the gap between the pills increases, so does its effectiveness. It is therefore advised to use additional protective measures.
13. If you forget a pill and it has been 12 hours or more since the time of taking it, take it immediately and use another protective device (condom) until you start the next pack of pills, because from now on you are not protected.
14. Forgot two pills in a row? You can “complete” up to 2 pills. For example, if you forgot to take the Friday and Saturday pills, in order to “complete” them you can take the Friday and Saturday pill 6 hours apart on Sunday, and on Monday the Sunday and Monday pill, they must also be taken 6 hours apart. It is important to note that in this case you are not protected and you must also use a condom until the next pack of pills. Remember that any “skip” or delay in taking a pill can lead to bleeding even if you are in the middle of the pack.
15. If you forget a pill and have sex during the two days before or during the two days after, it is better to use an emergency contraceptive pill (Postinor) to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. The sperm has the ability to survive for several days in the womb.
16. If you experience vomiting or diarrhea, the pill may not have been absorbed into the bloodstream, so you should use a condom during this month. In case of one-time vomiting: Take a new pill as soon as you feel well. In case of vomiting or diarrhea lasting more than 24 hours, you should consult a doctor.
17. If you are taking antibiotics, ask your doctor if it may affect the absorption of the pills. Most types of antibiotics don’t affect the pill, but there are types of antibiotics that can affect the effectiveness of the pill. In this case it may be possible to change the type of antibiotic. If this is not possible, you will also need to use a condom throughout the month you are being treated with antibiotics.
18. Beyond contraception, the pill helps in other areas: it reduces the risk of uterine and ovarian cancer, it helps regulate menstruation, it reduces pain and bleeding during menstruation, it reduces acne and it reduces body hair.
19. The pill is a medication! Therefore, it must not be taken without a prescription, or taken without the doctor’s instructions. If you received a prescription – do not pass it on.
20. Not every pill is right for every woman! Therefore, it is mandatory to consult a doctor beforehand. During the conversation with the doctor, tell them about your and your family’s entire medical history. If you do not know all the questions you want to ask, write them down and ask them at the next meeting. Your medical history is of great importance in tailoring the right pill for you. Insist on getting all the information about the side effects and risks of taking hormones on a daily basis from your doctor.
21. Some women can not use pills – Women suffering from migraines and especially migraines with aura, women who have blood clotting problems, women who are overweight, women with heart disease, diabetes, suffering from liver, gallbladder problems, women who are suspected of being pregnant, women who have breast cancer or have had breast cancer in the past five years, smoking women over the age of 35.
22. It is not recommended to start taking the pill before the first menstrual cycle because it can impair development.
23. Side effects that require immediate medical attention: severe headaches, severe leg pain, difficulty breathing, visual disturbances, severe dizziness or fainting.
24. Taking pills may slightly increase the risk of developing breast cancer.
25. Smoking significantly increases the chance of life-threatening side effects from taking the pill. Therefore, if you are a smoker you must tell your doctor. Pills are not recommended at all for smoking women over the age of 35 or for women who are considered “heavy” smokers.
26. The reason you can only get a prescription for three months at a time is so that you will be under regular medical supervision while taking the pill, so you can always consult and report side effects. You do not have to undergo a gynecological examination every time, but it is recommended that you do it once a year.
27. If you want to stop taking the pill, do it at the end of the pack. Take the whole pack and do not start a new one, do not stop in the middle.
28. Is it recommended taking a break from the pill from time to time? Doctors recommend not to do so, so as not to confuse the body. Studies show that the pill does not harm fertility, and in this respect the sequence can be maintained.
29. Emergency Contraceptive Pill – As the name implies, a pill that should only be used in an emergency. If you forget to take a pill, if the condom breaks, or when any other means of protection has failed, you can take an emergency pill once within 72 hours of having sex. If you are over the age of 16 you can buy it without a prescription. The earlier you take the pill, the more effective it is. This medicine should be used only as an emergency measure and not regularly. Here you can read more about emergency pills.
30. You do not have to finance everything yourself! So far no pill has been invented for men but that does not mean they should not share the burden. You can ask your partner to participate in the financial outlay, share with him when you need to take the pill, and so on. According to an interview given by the inventor of the pill, Dr. Pincus, to the Haaretz newspaper in 2013, they will probably never invent a pill for men, because it is simply not economical for the pharmaceutical companies. Sounds cynical and it sucks but we remain optimistic and hope it will change.

הפוסט Thirty facts about birth control pills הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex

1. What is pornography?

The word porno in Greek means prostitute, and graphiа means to write. Pornography, or porn, is the presentation of the human body (image, book, film, show, etc.) or sexual behavior of a person that provokes sexual arousal – when the way the human body is presented in a manner which lacks artistic value, as opposed to the artistic value of erotics. Eros is the Greek god of passionate and physical desire and from his name stems the word erotics.

There is evidence of pornographic sexual content since the time of ancient Greece, so it is not a phenomenon that has emerged in the modern age of print, cinema and personal computers. At the same time, the ways of distributing sexual content have become very sophisticated in the last fifty years – so much so that today pornography can reach all of us in the palm of our hand, with a single touch of the screen.

Although pornography is prohibited by law for minors (children under the age of 18), today mobile accessibility may expose minors, sometimes even without their will, to porn at very early ages, sometimes as young as children in primary school. A study conducted in Tel Hai College (2012) shows that more than 80% of teenagers in Israel aged 14-18 watch porn. Is this a worrisome figure? To answer this question we need to understand the effects of pornography on the brain.

2. What happens to the brain when it is exposed to a lot of pornography?

A long line of studies suggest that high-frequency viewing of pornographic content may rewire the brain. When watching porn as well as having sex our brain releases dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter responsible for the sense of pleasure. Regular consumption of porn causes a steady increase in the amount of dopamine in the brain and makes the brain slowly indifferent to its effects. The result of this process is that the brain needs more and more dopamine to feel a supreme feeling of arousal, which causes the viewer to consume more and more porn. It was also found that the effect is created not only by the amount of porn a person is viewing but also by the content. As the viewer is exposed to extreme content, the stimulus threshold increases. The brain’s ability to get used to large amounts of dopamine also affects a person’s behavior during sexual intercourse. Anyone who has been quite easily moved by hugs and kisses will have a hard time getting excited about them again after prolonged viewing of pornographic content – the brain becomes accustomed to an intense stimulus and now it has to be provided. Extensive viewing changes the threshold of sexual arousal and can make those who regularly watch porn sexually frustrated. A study conducted at Cambridge University in 2014 found similarities between brain activity in porn addicts and brain activity in drug and alcohol addicts.

3. Porn as a way to learn about sex, good or bad?

The fact that more than 80% of teenagers in Israel aged 14-18 watch porn is not encouraging. On the other hand not everyone who watches is addicted to porn, right? Porn addiction is a pretty extreme phenomenon, but it turns out that even consuming porn without being addicted to it can change our perceptions about members of the opposite sex and about our body. Why? First, because the men and women in porn do not represent the average body image – in most cases these are actors who have undergone plastic surgery, so if young people learn through porn what the body of the opposite sex looks like, they get a very misleading idea. The desire to resemble porn stars will in most cases lead to great frustration, as well as the desire for their partner to look that way.

In addition, sex scenes that are sometimes filled with physical and verbal violence can affect the viewer’s attitude toward his or her partners. When it comes to a very young viewer who has never experienced sex, they may get a misleading conception about what is expected from them in sex. Girls can conclude that they are expected to be submissive and endure violence while boys may conclude that they are expected to be violent and demanding. These of course are very wrong conclusions.

4. What do we support when we watch pornography?

The revenue of the porn industry is billions of dollars every year.

But the biggest beneficiaries are not the actors who are at the forefront of the industry (and who have often found them selves there out of distress, coercion or failure of judgment), but the producers and distributors who are mostly criminals often involved in various crimes including human trafficking, exploitation, rape, pedophilia and more.

Like any industry looking to make a profit, the porn industry is “forced” to provide increasing stimuli for its consumers and over the years, viewers whose minds have become accustomed to sexual stimuli need stronger stimuli (snuff films, rape, etc.) and this is a very vicious circle for both for porn consumers and for the women and men in the industry, who pay a very heavy price.

It is very difficult to stop the porn industry for one simple reason, it has more and more consumers every year. It is important to remember that watching porn, even for free, encourages the porn industry to continue, despite being a cruel and exploitative industry of minors, women and men. Therefore, when we watch porn we actually support the continuation of exploitation. Is this really what we want? And is it still possible to enjoy watching sexual content while having this knowledge?

5. What can be done about the negative effects of pornography?

The question then is, should we strive to block any access to porn, as is done in conservative societies? Even if we strive to do so, this is not the solution, because those who want to consume porn will always find a way. On the other hand, we mustn’t allow porn to be the sexual educator of young people, because the messages coded in pornography do not encourage a healthy approach to sex.

Therefore, as in most cases, the solution here is information and education: at home, at school and in every educational setting. The more young people get to know the behind the scenes of the porn industry and know how watching porn affects them, the lower its popularity will be and its negative effects will decrease accordingly.

הפוסט Five questions that will make you rethink porn הופיע ראשון בSafe-sex